Thursday, July 15, 2010


I'm in love with this boy and I don't know what to do about it. When he's around me, I'm speechless. When he's not, I miss him like crazy. I want to hold his hand but I shouldn't. I want to kiss him on the lips, just once. But I can't. We make each other smile and it brightens my world. When I cry, he wipes my tears with his hand. And always thinks I'm the prettiest girl in the room.

"Hey Chris." He said.

"Hey. How was your weekend?" I replied.

"It was boring. Wish I could have spent it with you." He smiled.

I melted.

"Me too. It wasn't much of a holiday." I laughed.

"Are you coming with me and Sam to lunch? I think we all have our breaks at the same time." He asked.

I nodded.

Of course we all have our breaks at the same time. Three completely different departments and we still have the same break. "Okay, so I'll see you then." He said and winked. I let out a huge sigh. I wish I could have him. And I retreated to the front desk.

"I need to two beds and one pull out. My husband snores terribly and the kids are going to be sleeping together. I don't want his snoring right in our ears." A woman went on in saying. Meanwhile her kids were running around the lobby like tiny annoying creatures and were yelling in everyone else's ears.

"Ma'am you may want your kids to stop running around. In case they… hurt themselves… or the d├ęcor." I said as I was typing as fast as I could.

Then one of them, the rolley polley one, came over and said he was hungry. Maybe he should eat the skinny one and there will be one less tyrant on our hands.

"Is it?" The lady said and stared at me.

"Sorry, what are you referring to?" I replied.

"Luh unch. My child is hungry, Miss." She said slightly angry with her southern accent.

"Oh I'm sorry. Lunch isn't until noon. " I answered.

"I'm hungry now!" The child yelled.

Then the skinny tyrant ran over to the counter as well. There goes your meal pudgy. Bon Apetite.

Finally lunch time came. It couldn't have come at a better time.

"I can't stand when kids come into the hotel." I shouted before I sat down

"They're not all bad." Sam said.

"You're right. It's the ones who are. But really, who brings a child to a prestigious hotel. This hotel is for business and booty calls." I went on.

Sam laughed and ate some of his salad. I hate him for being so disciplined.

"Oh there's Michael." Sam said waving profusely.

I took a bite of my sandwich and avoided turning around. If I don't see anything, it didn't happen. Sam got up to greet him, as usual, then they both sat down.

"Hey Chris." Michael said. "Hey. How was the kitchen this morning?" I asked.

"Cook was on my ass as usual." He replied. I nodded and laughed.

"I should tell him to stop picking on you. He loves me." Sam said.

"Who doesn't love you?" Michael smiled.

"True." He laughed.

"You're irresistible." Michael said then kissed him.

Ugh, exactly why I couldn't look before.

"Aw thanks, Baby." Sam said kissing him again.

Another shot right into the chest. I need to find new friends to eat with. Otherwise I may kill myself. Suicide letter, "I've always loved you Michael. Why can't you be mine? Oh cause you're gay. That's why I'm killing myself. Goodbye. P.S. Sorry Sam. "

"Are you okay, Hun?" Sam asked me.

"Oh yeah, I'm great. I just realized I had to pee. Be right back." I hurried to the bathroom.

I don't know how much longer I can do this.

As I stood at my desk, hating myself. A cute guy came up to invade my thoughts.

"Hello?" He said.

"Oh sorry." I apologized.

"It's okay, I get lost in thought at work too." He laughed.

I laughed too.

"What can I help you with today?" I asked.

"I need a room for tonight. Do you have any available?" He responded.

"Yes, we do. Especially for you." I flirted.

"Thanks a lot." He shined his perfect pearly whites back at me.

"There is a one bed with a mini fridge." I announced.

"What size is the bed?" He asked.

I looked and him and cleared my throat.

"Um a queen."

"That'll do I suppose," He hesitated, "Well you're a female, what would you say to a queen size versus a king size?"

"Um… well I'd say it's not always about the size, its about how you use it." I replied.

He smiled.

I smiled back and then looked down.

"Well then in that case I'll take it." He laughed.

I giggled a little and prepared his key for the room.

"Here is your key and information about our continental breakfast and where our guests can find other amenities at our hotel." I explained.

"Does it also tell me how I can get in contact with you?" He flirted.

I smiled, "Where it says '0' for front desk, that would be me. Well until 6 o'clock." He nodded and grabbed his key, "Oh, I do need a second key though."

"Sorry, I just assumed you needed one key. I should have asked." I apologized.

"Yes , you shouldn’t assume." He smiled.

I handed him another key.

"Thank you Christina. Your help was very… professional." He laughed a little.

I smiled and told him I hoped he enjoyed his stay. Oh how I wish that second key was for me. I need to get laid.

"Oh who was that." Michael said as he walked over to me.

"A Mr. Jayden Amerman" I sighed.

"He is Mr. Tie me down." He corrected me.

"On his queen size bed." I sulked.

"Oh Sweetie…" He said as he pulled my hair out of my face. I loved when he did that.

"Aren't you going to get in trouble being out here?" I asked.

"Nah, cause I'm visiting my girl." He sad and caressed my lower back a little.

"Go back to the kitchen. " I moaned.

I couldn't stand him touching me right now.

"What's wrong?" He said getting closer.

I shook my head.

"Come on, there has to be something. You seem frustrated." He went on.

"Nope. I'm good." I said.

Then he leaned forward to whisper in my ear as he was about to leave. Every word tickled my neck, "I'm here if you need me." Then he headed back to the kitchen. I love watching him away.

The reasons he makes me wish I were a man instead of a woman:

  1. He makes me smile constantly
  2. I have faith in him
  3. Cause he listens to lame songs with me
  4. Accepts my craziness & is crazy with me
  5. Allows me to influence him into saying out loud his own weird questions, ponders and concerns about life
  6. Smiles because I'm smiling
  7. Never seems to be judging me
  8. Makes fun of me in a tasteful way
  9. Enjoys the company of my friends
  10. Respects me
  11. My presence is all he needs
  12. I'm not his priority because his wellness and family are more important.
  13. He has responsibilities
  14. Cause I'd rather fight with him than sleep with anyone else.

Therefore I am in Hell constantly because I think about these things and I just want him to think these are reason enough to ditch the whole gay thing. But then that makes me a bad friend. I shouldn't want him to deny himself just because I want him. And who even knows how long we'd even last if we did end up together. A year, month, or an hour? It isn't worth it.

It is almost time to get off from work. I packed up some of my stuff at the desk and plan on where I want to change for Happy Hour tonight. The phone rang and I answered. It was a woman wondering what room her husband was in because she was running late.

"I actually can't give out his room number but I can leave him a message for you." I replied.

"I guess that will have to do then." She said with an attitude.

"What is his name?" I asked and rolled my eyes. "Amerman… Jayden." she answered.

"Jayden Amerman?" I said shocked.

"Yes, I just said that." she said rudely.

"And you're his wife?" I asked.

"Yes! Can you please just tell him I am going to be later than I had planned? And that I may just meet him at the wedding." She explained.

I agreed and said I would get the message to him.

I told Michael and Sam that I would meet them at the bar. But they were both going to be late anyway because of the wedding that was going to happen in one of our ballrooms. It was a huge expensive wedding and their bosses wanted to make sure everything was prepared in the kitchen and the banquet staff had the room prepared. And I said I had to take care of something personally for a guest. So we all said maybe we'll meet up a little later for our drinks. We were going to need it. They were dealing with bridezilla and her family and I was going to deal with Mr. Amerman.

Had no idea how I was going to approach him. I'm not the promiscuous type but I really wanted to see if this would go anywhere. So I counted to three and knocked on his door.

"Hold on" He yelled. I got a little fidgety but tried to keep it cool and sexy.

Wanted him to believe he was missing out on something even if I didn't think so. I looked down and unbuttoned a third button on my work shirt and hiked up my skirt a little. "Good thing I did some maintenance down there yesterday." I thought. Then the door opened.

"Hey, I was just getting off from work and your wife called about running late. So I said I'd personally come up and give you the message." I rambled a little.

"Oh" He said and then laughed a little.

"So um… you're going to the wedding downstairs." I asked.

"Yeah. I just got my closed on--" He said as he pulled up his pants a little more and tried to button them. "Well barely apparently." He laughed.

I laughed too and caught a glimpse of his chest as his shirt opened more.

"Thanks though. That was really nice of you." He continued.

I smiled.

"Thank You. " He said.

"Yeah, no problem. Have a nice time at the wedding." I said and walked off.

The door closed behind me. I was very disappointed.

I went to the lobby and was going to go drink myself to a new potential hook up. As I walked passed the front desk one of the girls said, "Hey, did you just come from 333?" I nodded.

"Well he said you dropped your wallet." she told me.

My wallet? I didn't even take it out. But I got back into the elevator and headed back up. I looked into my bag and I couldn't find my wallet at first but as the elevator doors opened, I found it. I walked to his room anyway, just to let him know I had it. Before I could knock on the door, it opened. Mr. Jayden Amerman stood there the same way I left him.

"I have my wallet." I told him.

To Be Continued...

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