Wednesday, May 25, 2011

What if Jesus doesn't come back?

-Sidenote, I wrote this beautiful post for you guys and my blog just wouldn't post it and then it accidentally got deleted. I'm very upset. So bear with me.

In High School, I wrote a series of short "what if" scenarios and ponderings. And since the recent events, I thought to myself, "How fitting would it be if I posted two of them?"

1. What if Jesus doesn't come back?

Life is full of questions like these. But the honest truth is that we can not come up with an answer. People who do come up with one, are full of it. They are blowing steam out their behinds. Why can’t they just be honest and say, “I don’t know”?

Most people would say that God or Jesus wouldn’t allow him not to come back. God and Jesus promised that he would, so he is. But are we certain of this? No, we’re not even sure if God exists. Which is a bad to say, but it's true.

Apparently this past weekend the world was going to end? Did you hear? But as we all know, we're still here. It didn't seem to cause much of a commotion where I was. In fact the woman on a slot machine next to me took a puff of her cigarette, blew the smoke out and asked, "Wasn't the world supposed to end by now?" I laughed, "Yes". She cracked up and replied, "Well guess they were wrong! We're still here." And she took another puff of her cigarette.

If the world is going to end, NEWSFLASH! it will end. What do people expect to do? Prepare themselves for the occurrence? How the Heck do you prepare for something like that? Repent for your years worth of sins the week of? Prepare the bomb shelter? Gather your things?

4. What will happen when Oprah dies?

No one really thinks about this, but I do. What will happen? Will the streets fill with Housewives, crying continuously and uncontrollably? Will it be a Special Report interrupting every show on at that time? Will Stedman make a statement? Will he cry? And who will be at the funeral? I’m guessing everyone.

I my head I imagine that Housewives would stop in their tracks at home and sit down and actually watch the special report about Oprah’s death. It’ll probably happen around when I’m maybe almost 40 or 50+. So either I will be home as a housewife myself out working. And I know either way, I will be into hearing the details about what happened to Oprah (as any other woman would, not just housewives). Most likely her death will be unexpected. I doubt she’ll die from illness, but from old age. I can’t imagine it being any other way.

The report would say something like, “This morning, Oprah Winfrey passes away in her sleep.” They couldn’t have a female anchor make the statement because she’ll be too emotional. So it will be a man, who makes the announcement on every channel. No matter what station, it will be a man. Or maybe some stations will want a woman to make the announcement so that it is more sentimental in the way the news is presented.

Most importantly, what will be on ABC at 4pm during the weekdays? There can never be another Oprah.

I feel bad writing about Oprah's death, but it is not in a malicious way by no means. So Oprah, please don't hate me.

In most of our minds, people like Oprah will live on forever. We will never see the day when she is gone. Mainly because she will live on through technology. But could you imagine if your popularity determined the length of your life? In Fables (Graphic Novel), that's exactly what happens. The fairytale characters are immortalized but their fate lies in the hands of their fans. For example, The big bad wolf will never die because of how famous he is. Try reading the series, it's good.

Anyway, Oprah. I came up with this what if while I was watching Oprah after school. At the time my family had moved out of state and I was living with a roommate/guardian. She dislike Oprah a lot. But that of course did not prevent me from watching her. My mom watched Oprah all my life. So I guess I started watching her to have my mom near me, although we were miles apart. And so I thought, "Oh my god, what if there was no more Oprah Winfrey show?" I panicked and then I told myself that I had to write it all down.

What makes me laugh now is the fact that I believed that the only way the Oprah Winfrey show would ever end was in the result of her death. Never thought that she would end it after 25 years.

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