Tuesday, March 5, 2013

Are you afraid of the...?

For weeks now, I have been trying to find the words for a new post. Draft after draft, idea after idea, I haven't written what I wanted. Still I have a post about Nolcha Fashion Week I want to post, but I haven't wanted to write it. Since this is my blog, I should only put up what I want and not what I feel like I have to.

I'm going to keep it real.

Lately, I have been feeling my nerves crawl under my skin, heart beat harder, breaths getting deeper and slightly lightheaded. I'm afraid.

I'm smiling right now at the thought of the things I am scared of lately. One being success and the other being my dreams coming true. The smile goes away when I think of the ridicule and rejection that may also follow. But does it matter what happens after? When we're kids, we say, "I want to be a doctor". Do we say a good doctor? Would be unhappy if after being a doctor we mess up here and there? As a kid, I think we would be happy with the fact that we even got that far. Cause now we're doctors.

Accomplishing your goals and dreams coming true is scary. It sounds like "rich people problems" but in actuality it's scared people problems. Ambitious people problems. Lately I've found myself saying, "Damn, I wish I wasn't so ambitious". If I wasn't, my days off from my day job would actually be days off. I wouldn't be as tired. I would have more money in my pocket. But would I be happy with that? We know the answer to that.

So I ask you my readers, Are you scared? And if you are, what are you doing to calm your nerves? What brings you peace? Or are you letting the fear consume you?

Are you scared?

*This blog was not proofread