Wednesday, October 28, 2015

Singles vs Dating vs Married vs Married with Kids

Many of us in our late twenties may be experiencing the influx of wedding invitations and baby announcements. I am very happy for all of those people. Well not for myself and the people who have to witness this but the ones sending invites and making announcements. Their wedding photos are cute. Engagement photos are inspiring for photography ideas, for me to shoot. Very creative baby announcement photos. I'm impressed at the fact that there is now a GENDER ANNOUNCEMENT party. Wtf? Now we're going a little too far. It's kind of cute but really? Is it?

Now to go back to the people who have to witness this. I'm talking about the ones who post pictures of their vacations in South Africa. Journeys throughout the world. Receiving prestigious awards from their university or town. Running for local government positions. Using their second bedroom as an office and can not imagine putting a baby in there instead (Guilty). This group is just as impressive. Their life has meaning and everyone has a right to envy them. But with that said, DO NOT try hindering them because you are not fulfilled in your own life. You too can have your gender party and climb a mountain in a foreign country.

My boyfriend and I went to Europe for about a week in September. Every time I mention it in public, I kind of feel like that posh couple that is gloating. And honestly, I am not. We are not. We just had an amazing time. Trust me, we had our arguments and tough patches during our time there, but overall I wouldn't have traded it for anything else. Anyway, I mention this because my boyfriend was asked by many co-workers "Where are you going?" And he'd tell them. The response was often the, "Oh I wish I could do that." This comment infuriates him; and after reading "The Art of Non-conformity" I realize he is justified.
"The people I talk with now who tell me they 'wish' they could do something but feel unable have usually made a number of choices that prevent them from doing what they wish. They have chosen to prioritize other things above their stated desire." 
It is not that people with kids can't go to London and Paris. It's that they decide not to. And can I be frank? London and Paris are beautiful places to go, but if you can't at least make it there... you are just making excuses. Straight up making excuses to why you haven't gone there. Chris actually mentions a married couple or two that moved their family to other countries because they didn't want their children to just be mediocre. And THEY DID IT! Which I found encouraging. And in no way do I think everyone should start uprooting their families or lives to foreign countries, but what I am saying is that your "wishes" can become realities. Only if you want them to.

Just so the mothers and fathers out there don't feel picked on, I will go back to my couples and singles. What the hell is your excuse? Yes, we (myself, Chris and my boyfriend) don't think having a family is an excuse to not travel, but at least it makes you think for a second. What is your excuse? Student loans? Ha! I owe over $100,000 in student loans and I STILL go on trips. Most of my friends who do not go anywhere or take chances in business, owe a lot less. So next?

The truth is, we are all worried and scared of stepping away from what we are familiar with. I believe I have written about "being comfortable" before. It's a very slow crippling disease. You stop creating, strategizing and hustling. You become complacent with your life. Personally, when I start to feel complacent, I cry. I get very emotional and sad about my life. There has to be more; I can do more. Then I wipe my tears and push on. But what if you like being mediocre? Well... then don't say "I wish..." when you hear about all the fun I'm going to have in New Orleans next year.

Here's a list I posted on my Facebook fan page about the 11 ways to be Unremarkably Average. Read it cause this is you. Just saying.

Before I leave you beaten up and mad at me, let me leave you with this. There is a sorority sister of mine named... lets say Ariel. She's a South Jersey girl and is very comfortable in her own skin. I'm not sure why, but one day she decided to lose weight. And she did. We're all so proud of her transformation. Hard work and diligence look great on her. Ariel also saw one of our other sorority sisters constantly traveing all over the world. Finally one day, her "I wish" became a "I did". Ariel reached out and told her to let her know when she was going on her next big trip. Guess where the destination was? South Africa. This South Jersey girl went to Africa. And I am so inspired at her dedication to explore and LIVE. Whether she goes anywhere else, ever again, at least she took a chance and lived a little. I think we're all capable of that. All I'm trying to say.