Monday, February 12, 2018

#ThatsHarassment





Hello!

It's been a while huh? Well, I have been very busy with personal life stuff and business stuff. Of course, I wanted to write on here but wasn't sure what to say for a while. Most of my time has been spent traveling, recording video footage, editing that footage and making Youtube videos. Yes! Youtube videos. I am now on Youtube filming videos about travel and could not be more excited. I don't have plans on becoming a big deal Youtuber, but you know me, it's a tool to accomplish a bigger picture. 

With the title of this blog, I'm sure you realize I am not here for a fun update but because something moved me enough to revert back to my blogging roots. A co-worker of mine shared these with me last week and I was in awe of them. These #ThatsHarassment videos are great ways to aware men and women what harassment includes. It's amazing in a way. 

I wanted to write a post that points out KEY moments in a couple of these videos. It's the moment the man (who could be a woman in some situations I'm sure) tries to manipulate the women. Or should I say, possibly does manipulate the woman. It's such a talent and really upsets me because I know from experience how it feels when a man tries to make you seem absurd for thinking something. In this case, uncomfortable or insulted.  


2:51- "I know you don't think a lot of yourself, but..." 

Raise your hand if you've heard that one before? I knew a guy like this guy, but he was in college at the time. "Oh, we don't want the little guy getting confused." Um, then maybe you shouldn't have been the one to confuse him. Why is your penis out of your pants? 

Anyway, he tries to pick at her insecurities to get what he wants. There may have been a woman in the past this worked with and so he did it again and again when he was the one horny and insecure. I wish there was another word other than harassment to categorize this because it's almost mental and emotional abuse. He's hoping she'll just take this and know her place. What do you think?

  
1:48- "I was totally showing you how they are" 
2:02- "For a second there, you turned around like you were going to give me... literally some feminist rant. Bullshit."
2:58- When he's whispering in her ear and then says, "I've seen worst."

My boyfriend and I watched this one together and he had a great point. This coworker used Neuro-Linguistic Programming on her, the Disassociative Sales Technique. Cause his actions are not his own, it's "other guys", they're the worst and not him. He's simply just showing her, he's not actually grabbing her butt.

Here are a few examples.



And I mentioned to my boyfriend how he already dismissed her response or reaction because anything negative she now says is a "feminist rant" and she's no longer "cool". He sets it up so that she second guesses whether or not she was actually harassed, given a lesson in Bar 101 or hit on. 



2:58- "I was just trying to show how much I appreciate you."
3:41- "You know what it was? I just wanted to show you how great you are. How good you are." 

Then give her the day off unexpectedly or pay for her lunch. What the heck? This one in my opinion and another coworker's opinion, is very hard to fully use as a good example. The female seemed like she kissed him back, which was a bad move. And then used her boyfriend as a reason to not continue the kissing. Which was another bad move but no one should blame her for. As I got older, I started to realize using that as an excuse (whether you are making up the fact that you are with someone or not) just encourages the guy to try harder.

Even if she did kiss him back, he should have never stopped her at the door and insisted on more physical contact. No matter what, that's not okay.

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Overall, I wanted to share these because I think it's important that we are aware of different views of harassment. There is one with a photographer and it's pretty repulsive. I felt horrible for the model. It's another case of, I wish we'd use another word other than harassment for that. It's definitely abusive... abuse of power mostly.

As a woman who was once young and had very unhealthy relationships with boys, I can honestly say some of this is circumstantial which I hate saying. But it is true. It really all depends on how it is interpreted or received by the other person (man or woman, boy or girl). Yes, women are the most likely to be the one who is harassed, but we can't dismiss other genders and go on a "feminist rant". We have to acknowledge and change as a society. And as a society say that this behavior is not okay for anyone to do.

I"ll see you soon with more content I'm sure. Maybe I will write more about my journey to creating my new businesses. We'll see.