Tuesday, October 9, 2018

A Wedding or A Show??

I am an engaged woman. And since March, I have learned many things about weddings I had no idea about. I thought you would like to some input about these things as well.

1. You pay to go to weddings as if you are going to a Broadway show. 

I thought guests giving money at the wedding was a sweet thing people do because the couple is going to be starting their life together. But OH NO. More often it is expected that you pay for your ticket, I mean for being invited. I spoke to a woman who said she's gone as far as looked up or CALLED the venue beforehand and based the check she gives the couple off of the average plate cost listed. Even if you can't make it but you RSVP'd, you "must" send a check to the couple for the amount of their plate cost. 

My opinion is that this is ridiculous. I said it, be mad or be glad. I don't care. I think it is ridiculous that weddings (which don't get me started on the history of what they are in the first place) has a place in society still. I think it's more ridiculous that couples use a "joyous event" as a source of income. It's also a little disgusting.

If you want to celebrate your love, celebrate it without a price tag over everyone's head. Don't spend $100,000 because you expect everyone to pay you back for such a great show. You're not Lin Manuel Miranda. 

2. EVERYONE thinks they are invited

I have never said, "Oh I better be invited to that wedding". I wish people would do the same in regards to my wedding. It's really annoying, it puts me on the spot, it adds to stress and automatically makes me not want to invite you. You're being selfish. 
(I guess if I was a bride in it for the money, I should reply, "Well.. how much you got?") 
I said selfish because you're not considering the person you're asking when you say that. Especially if it isn't in a joking way. "I better..." It's so entitled and so self-centered. Get over yourself. 

3. Parents show their TRUEST selves

Of course I need to tread lightly on this one, but if you've read my writing before then you know I will still say what's on my mind even in the kindest of words.

          Let me focus on my father.*

I don't publicly speak about my relationship with my father but he is in fact in my life. Not overbearingly, but still present. He has his life and I have mine. With that said, my dad has been the perfect example of what you want your parent to be like when planning a wedding in this century. He isn't paying for everything or showering me with everything I want, but he has given mature insight and advice. You know? What you expect from a parent.

To give an example, I will share that many relatives on my side and my partner's side will not be invited to our ceremony. Each parent has at least one close relative that is included in that disappointment. My father is the only one who hasn't made that decision even harder once he found out (for him it's sibling yal). SO, I say this... you learn a lot about the parents. Good and bad. I will leave it at that. 

*I love my mom very much and she is a Momzilla FOR REAL, but she's also surprised me at how much she cares more about our marriage than the wedding. 


Overall, I am not the "ideal" bride and I am very much okay with that. I want to only invite guests who have personally had a positive impact on my relationship with my partner. I want them to love us as a unit and not only as individuals. I also don't want them to reject coming to celebrate with us because they feel obligated to pay to get in. As much as I would like more people at my ceremony, I think it was destined to be a smaller one. I've always wanted to develop a community of people I trust and loved to help raise my future child. Why not continue developing that community with this very significant event?



Here are a few YouTube channels I found over the weekend and watch a ton of. Enjoy!

Moriah Robinson



Jamie Wolfer